Men are from Mars and women...well, women are just insane

Many times I can't sleep at night. I just lay there running through the million mental notes and mile long lists of things I want to be, do (or re-do), try, experience, improve, develop, plan, execute, change, learn, teach, write about, read about, photograph, buy, sell, save, throw away or recycle.

If you don't know what I'm talking about you're either an exception, in denial or a man.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was telling me how she loves New Year's Resolutions and how she had asked her husband on the way to a New Year's party what he wanted to change or undertake during the new year. After giving it some long hard thought, he simply stated: "Can't think of a single thing."

Men are just like that. They are perfectly ok with who they are and what they do. If they weren't, they'd just be different. Makes sense. Men are logical creatures. Mostly.

Women... not so much. No matter how happy a woman is, she is just never happy enough. Chris Rock has a hilarious (vey inappropriate, but hilarious nonetheless) comedy bit about that.

I think part of being a woman is learning that despite any sort of external influence we're still going to be hormonal, guilt-ridden, self-demanding creatures who think we are never good enough.

Or at least not as good as that lady over there who has the perfect colored hair, manicured nails, latest designer purse, 5-inch heels and rock solid abs.

what you say:"She is too self-absorbed! She spends so much time and money to look like that! So shallow and artificial!She can't possibly be comfortable in THAT!"

what you're really thinking : Target has a $5 off coupon on hair color this week. Make an appointment at Fabulous Nails. Bust out the Dr Scholl comfort gel pads and the red pumps. He has to understand I need some time for MYSELF! Where the heck is my "6 pack in 6 weeks with Jillian" DVD?)

Or that other lady whose house you think you might have seen in the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, whose achievements you think you might have read about on Times magazine and whose husband's paycheck you think you might have seen...oh nevermind, you've never seen that kind of money.

what you say: "Such a snob! She probably never even sees her husband and kids! That house looks like a museum- I like houses that look lived in! Who needs that kind of money anyway?"

what you're really thinking:"If I don't go to bed till 4 am I can re-paint the living room and clean the pantry. I'm still young enough to win a Pulitzer prize, aren't I? Honey, you REALLY need to work on that promotion! Sweetie, I know you want to play in the living room but that is only for special guests and I don't want you to mess up the new paint!"

If you are a woman you probably want to incorporate all the qualities of the people you meet. Or see, or read about or glance at for that matter. But you still want to be yourself, because you love who you are and you're so happy with your life, remember?

You want to plan things thoroughly and carry out your plans flawlessly. And be spontaneous and carefree and make decisions on the spur of the moment.

You want to be there for your husband, your kids, your friends, your family, your neighbors, your Church. And you want to be left alone and have time for yourself and TO BE LEFT ALONE!

You want to call the shots, be independent and self-sufficient. And you want to be taken care of and have someone to choose the restaurant tonight and open the pickle jar. (you're a girl for Pete's sake!)

Last year I wrote a text about that. It was supposed to be short. A sentence maybe, a quote, a haiku, 3 lines. But here is what it became. Don't be like me.

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people

Who can easily overcome the blues

Who know things in life are not black and white

People who have really gone green

One of those people who are fine not coloring inside the lines

and who actually enjoy the rainbow while trying to get to the pot of gold?

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people?

Those people who can put themselves in someone else’s shoes,

Who don’t feel like they’re in a straight jacket,

People who can wear a million hats

One of those people who can knock your socks off ?

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people?

One of those people who are bookworms,

Whose lives are open books,

Whose flights are never overbooked,

And who can easily turn the page and start a new chapter?

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people?

Who seem to have a genie in a bottle,

One of those people who can have just one sip,

Don’t you wish you drank more water?

Don’t you just wish working out was your cup of tea?

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish

You could take everything with a grain of salt

And that you didn’t have to sugarcoat things

Don’t you just wish you could savor each day

Oh, if only bittersweet moments weren’t so bitter!

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people

Who have their act together,

Who can juggle their family and career,

And tame their wildest fears,

Who are not afraid of acting like clowns?

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people?

With a naturally sunny disposition

And perfect sunny side up eggs for breakfast

Who always dress appropriately for the weather

Don’t you just wish there were more rainy days so you wouldn’t feel guilty if you didn’t go for a walk?

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people

Who have already planted a tree

And who know that you reap what you sow

Those people who help others blossom

People who treasure and honor their roots

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people?

With make up on

Who go beyond

Who believe in someone above

Who are not stuck in between

Don’t you?

Don’t you just wish you were one of those people?

Who know all about the latest trend

Who don’t give in to fads

Who can fashion a bomb out of a hair pin and toothpick

One of those people with updated blogs and old-fashioned pie recipes

People with heirloom tomatoes in the backyard

And avant-garde ideas in their minds

Don’t you just wish you could know more,

And do more?

And worry less?

Don’t you think you should want more?

And have lower expectations?

And aren’t you supposed to reach higher goals?

Don’t you feel you should try harder?

And work less?

And have more free time? And waste less time?

Don’t you wish you had more money?

And don’t you wish you spent less?

Don’t you just wish you were different?

Don’t you just wish you were perfectly content?

And don’t you just wish you could be more selfless?

And don’t you just wish you weren’t so self-centered?

And don’t you just wish you could put yourself first for once?

Don’t you wish you could just be yourself?

Don’t you?

If you are a man (then you're probably not reading this), support the women in your lives in their endeavors and projects (for there will be many). Hold them during times when they feel like they failed, given up or are overwhelmed (for those will be plenty too).

If you are woman, cut yourself some slack. Give yourself (and others) some time. Don't expect so much from yourself (and others). Get rid of the guilt and forgive yourself (and others).

Don't be like me. sigh.

PS.Writing this blog is just one of my many projects. And no matter how much you say you like it, I will still look around and think it needs some re-writing, improving, re-designing, careful planning and thoughtful re-organizing... don't be like me.... sigh...